EAST CARSON CONFESSIONAL
I was pissing in an alley off East Carson Street
the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.
We were four Vegas bombs and two double Captain and Cokes in
and I could tell her everything. Sometimes I get drunk
so I can kiss girls and see if I like it. Sometimes I do,
sometimes I don’t. I think I hate a lot of my friends.
I blame most things on Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome,
and the rest on Middle Child Syndrome.
Sometimes, I regret deciding to get my MEd instead of my MFA.
I know I don’t call home enough and Stella does more.
I still cry when Collins sings the reprise of I’ll Cover You
when Angel died in Rent. I don’t know the name of the last guy
I had sex with—Gage or Gabe or something—
and he was the first guy since Spencer that I felt something with.
My blood flows faster when I get off the parkway
and see the glass buildings trying to touch heaven
and the bridges connecting Pittsburgh to my world.
My favorite time of the day
is when I can watch TV in my underwear
because I get to be alone.
Toni Murabito is a senior Communications for Advocacy major with minors in Creative Writing and Public Policy and Leadership at Carlow University. She writes with the Madwomen in the Attic and her work has been featured in the 2015 and 2016 editions of The Critical Point. Toni's work focuses on body image, mental illness, and sexuality.